Why I have a dog and not a wife.

1. The later I am, the more excited the dog is to see me.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find me amusing when I'm drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask: 'If I died, would you get another dog?'
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff with it.