Well, just a little update as to what's going on in my life. Perhaps I should explain the title first. I set up a Twitter profile today, fuck knows why but anyway, there was a box on the profile inviting me to 'describe myself in less than 180 characters.' I'm frigging useless at those profile thingies, I normally go down the route of self-depreciation but I'm not very good at it (it's OK I can wait for you to catch up, take a minute, read that last sentence again, think about it. Oh God, do I have to explain? Self-depreciation……putting yourself down……I'm not very good at it…..get it?) So anyway, an old skool hardcore rave track that I used to stomp to (big fish little fish) popped into my head and I put 'I am a nightmare walking.' Cos to be honest, that's how I see myself. So there, that's the title explained, and for extra clarity here's the track…..
I got an e-mail from my landlady today - rather than explain, read it for yourself:
'I was talking to the new managing agent this morning and she was telling me about the new front door. She sounds very competent which is a massive improvement on the previous agent which I'm very pleased about. She did mention that she has written to you about some rubbish outside your front door, muddy boots and a dog. Apparently there has been a complaint to Sam (at the agent), from another tenant/owner which I wasn't aware of until she mentioned this in passing. Have you received the letter yet and should I be worried?'
I should explain that I live in an old chapel that has been converted into flats and there is a management company that looks after the building. I haven't received a letter as yet but I'm gobsmacked that someone has complained about the fact that I left my boots outside the flat door when I came in from a muddy dogwalk the other day. What's the problem? And as for rubbish outside the door....if I change the kitchen bin I put the bin liner outside the door until next time I leave the building, then I take it round to the wheelie bins. Bearing in mind I leave the building a bare minimum of three times a day to walk the dog, rubbish has never been outside my door for more than a couple of hours. And it's tied up in a bin liner, for fuck's sake. I just can't believe that somebody actually rung the management company to complain about this. And what's the problem with the dog? He's never bothered anyone, he's house-trained, I just don't get it! If someone has a problem with my boots outside the door then take it up with me. If they have a problem with the dog, take it up with him!
Anyway, I've no idea who has complained but as I was leaving on a dogwalk earlier tonight a couple came in and gave Tricky filthy looks. Maybe it's them. From my landlady's e-mail it could be that they're owners and not tenants, so maybe they think they've got some right over the whole building. Bollocks. I really hope I get that letter. Fucking do-gooders. I'm so sorry for being a humble tenant, I'm just not good enough to be a property owner like them, they're much better people than me. Bollocks. Twats.
OK, rant over.
No it's not. £72.00 for a passport? What the fuck? £72.00? How do they work that one out? It's a little book with a little photo of me (photo provided by me at extra cost, no expense to them) then laminated. Total cost of materials......pence. How do they get away with charging £72.00 for it? Twats.
Grrrr. It's me and the dog against the world at the moment.
Anyway, in the words of my ex-girlfriend, I'm going to leave you now. But after searching for that rave track I then searched for another one and this is a real stomper. Me and my mate used to go mental on the dance floor when this got mixed in. Comingonstrongcomingonstrongcomingonstrong.....letshaveanotherE.....comingonstrongcomingonstrongcomingonstrong.....ecstacy!
Check it out....play it loud.
